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Are You Still In Love With Your Ex? Quick Tips To Go Back Or Move On!!

Getting over a breakup is never an easy thing, especially if you were the one who was dumped. We may tell ourselves that we’re over him or her, that we’re better off and that they’ll never find another person who loves them like we do – but deep down inside, you miss them so much. We might even want them back. These feelings are fresh off a breakup and perfectly normal. So it’s okay to admit that you’re not over it just yet.

But if months and years go by and your feelings are still a little fuzzy, here are a few ways you can tell if you’re still in love with your ex:

1. You Think About Him All the Time

This is obvious, but duh…you still think about him all the time. Most likely if you’re broken up, you don’t see each other anymore – but “out of sight” doesn’t necessarily mean “out of mind.” Actually, the fact that you have no idea what he’s doing, where he is or who he’s with might cause you to think of him that much MORE. So you stalk his Facebook or Twitter page, you reminisce over photos from your last vacation and songs on the radio remind you of him. It’s natural to think of your ex from time to time after a breakup, but if those thoughts don’t diminish over time, and they become more and more consuming, it could be a sign that you are still truly in love and can’t imagine a life without him.

**How do you overcome this?**

Time. All you can do is wait it out. If there is no chance of reconciliation, then you have to let these feelings run their course until time heals your wounds. It may not seem like you’ll ever get over him, but trust me, you will. Acknowledging your feelings is the first step to recovery, so give yourself room to grieve and move on. It’ll get better as time goes on, I promise.

2. You Can’t Date Anyone Else

One sign that you’re not over your ex is that you find it hard to date other men. You constantly compare everyone you meet to your ex, and the new guy always falls short. It could be that you set some imaginary, unattainable bar that no other man can reach because you’re unwilling to give him a chance. If you idolized your ex and thought he was the perfect guy, no man will ever measure up, no matter how great he is.

** What to do?**

Don’t push it. If you’re really not ready to date, don’t do it – it’s not fair to the next guy, and it’ll just backfire and make you feel worse if you force yourself to do something you’re not up for. However, dating doesn’t mean you’re getting into a new relationship. Sometimes just getting out and having fun is all you need to change your mood and speed your healing process along. Don’t pressure yourself either way.

3. You’re Upset He’s With Someone Else

It sucks when your ex is over the breakup faster than you are – but learning that he’s dating someone else is something else entirely, and it stings – like a slap in the face. If you see your ex out with a new girl, and you don’t even flinch, then you’re over it. But if seeing him with another woman tears your insides out and you’re jealous, it’s a sign that the love you felt for him might still be there.

**How to Handle It?**

Move on. While the fact that he’s moved on with someone else might cause anxiety and hurt feelings, there’s nothing you can do about it. Occupy your time with friends and family, and surround yourself with people who love and affirm you since your ego might be a little bruised. If it was a bad breakup and he’s a jerk, let him be HER problem – not yours – and be thankful that an unhealthy relationship is over with. While you may still have love for him, if it was meant to be, you’d be with him…so take it as a sign from the Universe that it’s time to let go.

4. You Still Frequent At Your Old Stomping Grounds

If you find yourself getting take-out from a favorite restaurant that you both frequented, or hanging out in spots that you both visited regularly, you may be subconsciously hoping to run into him. Hell, you may even be doing it on purpose – placing yourself in social situations where you know you’ll see him so you can stay present in his life. So you put on your freak’um dress and “accidentally” bump into him, hoping he’ll be reminded of how beautiful and wonderful you are and want you back. If you’re going through all this trouble, you’re definitely not over him.

** Next step?**

Stop the madness. Do the opposite and change your social engagements, and decrease your interaction as much as possible if you ever plan to get over him. So if that means getting your grub from a new restaurant or telling mutual friends that you want to hang out with them individually instead of in group settings, be strong and do it. You may not be able to avoid him ALL the time, but strategically placing yourself around him is borderline obsessive.

5. Jealousy and Mind Games

Okay, if you’re an immature gal, you may resort to jealousy tactics to try to win him back – and it’s crazy. If you try to make him jealous by posting pics on Instagram of you and some new, unsuspecting fool in order to make his blood boil, you may be disappointed when it has no effect, and you look like a clown. You may think you’re getting back at him, but it’s really all a manipulation maneuver in order to get his attention because deep down inside, you still love him and want him back.

** Solution?**

Grow up. Realize that still having feelings for your ex isn’t a terrible thing, and ignoring them or deceiving yourself by employing childish tactics will only delay the healing process – and make you look like a fool in the process. Be brutally honest about your feelings and confront them. Only you know how you really feel, so focus on those emotions instead of burying them so that you can fully recover from the break up and get on with your life.

BONUS:
My personal favorite is to go shopping, get the cutest outfits, go back to my apartment, freshen up, put the clothes on, BLAST THE MUSIC WHILE GETTING READY, find the most empowering songs to get your ex off your mind, like ( Tony Braxton – Please let me be, Tony feat. Trey songz – Yesterday, etc) get the camera and change out all your pics on every social media.

**NB. the pics should be hotter than the ones you had before.**

And be more open minded and within minutes you should be getting a new boo. Plus if this doesn’t work tell everybody I’m phony and not to visit this site. Because I’m 100% confident that this will work. OKAY. and If you don’t see any guys or girls coming your way then you must be doing something wrong!

Got a question, and want me to talk about it?? Email me at shanewitter@gossipwelove.com.

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1 Comment

  1. Anonymous

    December 30, 2012 at 5:59 pm

    love this post now is for some of us to take out own advice

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