“Basketball Wives: Miami” star Tami Roman recently sat down with Toofab, to talk about her recent weight loss, the new season of “BBW,” past issues with co-star Kesha (who is said to be fired from the show), bullying and more.
“I’m excited about it because the show has the tendency to border on the dramatic aspect of our lives. This particular season we’re getting more into our families, the positive things we’re doing, creating a balance for the show. Last season was particularly hard for me because of the things we went through. It is reality TV and one moment that happens for 15 minutes is stretched out for 4 weeks of our lives.”
Some fans labeled you as a bully during your incident with Kesha. Was it editing or do you own up to it?
Let me take responsibility for my actions. I did what I did. I don’t take pride in taking on a weaker opponent because that’s not who I am as a person, so I was a little upset about that. But I took that opportunity to learn and grow. What I mean by that is I don’t consider myself a bully. Anyone that knows me knows I will give the shirt off my back; I’m a very loving person.
I always thought bullying was big kids picking on small kids. I had a bullying moment and I was pushing someone who wasn’t ready for that confrontation. I own up to that but me as an individual, that’s not how I go through my life. There’s a saying that your intentions may be good and still the wrong things will happen. In all honesty, I just want Kesha to stand up for what she said and own up to the things that kept pushing her to do that but that’s not in her makeup. And so because of that I had a bully moment and not being able to recognize that she’s not that type of person she was, she was never going to do and I should have stopped pushing.
I apologized to Kesha in written word and to her face. She can accept it or not accept it. I think the bigger picture was for me to own up to what I did to the young lady, acknowledging it was wrong, and making that apology. From that I’m able to move on and say okay Tami, when you’re learning how to deal with people, this is something that you can’t do. You have to be able to recognize the person you’re speaking with and where they’re coming from and step into their shoes. You have to acknowledge that when you’re dealing with someone when they’re not ready to have that moment you have to accept that.
I’ve learned and grown from that moment but I’m not going to say we’re friends. I’m not going to say we speak. I don’t know if she accepts my apology or not, she’s not been vocal with that. It’s not for me to get her to accept that. It’s for me to acknowledge and initiate the process of apologizing.
You’re coming up on your 20th anniversary of being on “The Real World.” Has reality TV changed? For better or worse?
We were definitely the pioneers of the reality tv genre. We set up this whole phenomenon that it’s become. The biggest difference for me is that when we did the “Real World” it really was the real world. We lived our lives as real world situations presented themselves and we dealt with them in a real way. I think other reality shows sometimes people may not be as real as they would be, you have those shows like that. You have shows that border on the drama of the moment, which is like “Basketball Wives” where the moment isn’t played out in real time.
And there’s the social media aspect. When I was on “The Real World,” if you didn’t like what I did you had to sit down and write me a letter. And now everything’s on Twitter, blogs, Facebook and people are able to comment on it. So that has to be the largest difference since when we started til now. People are judgmental and people don’t understand that things are edited things are played out over 4-5 weeks and everybody in the situation has moved on and you have to keep reliving it week after week. I would say that’s the hardest and biggest difference.